Crisis in Family Relationships
In life we cannot choose the family we come from; God decides where we are placed. There are some exceptions to this, such as being adopted or a child that is leaving his/her family to live with relatives. Some experiences in family relationships may be very heartbreaking and chaotic, while for others, family relationship experiences may be peaceful and full of laughter. Overall, it is important to know that God controls the affairs of men, and no matter what our immediate or extended family situations or circumstances are, let us take a step back to give thanks to God for where He has placed us. You may say, “Simi, you don’t understand, my family is… and they do… and so on and so forth.” I may not understand everything, but one thing I do understand is this; if we keep thinking and pondering on the negatives we will miss why God planted us in our family bloodline. If you are upset about the situation in your immediate or extended earthly family, try to look at the situation differently. Don’t just look at your family set-up or the situation, but look at the bloodline. This is a good practice because you will begin to see the circumstances from a higher level, and this may give you answers to your questions or give you some relief. Most of the time the enemy wants us to look at the stormy situation with our natural eyes and point fingers, we should learn to remove the veil and ask the Holy Spirit to give us insight. Sometimes the problem behind a dysfunctional family is not from the present generation but in the generations before and in the bloodline.
If your relationship within your immediate or extended family is strained, ask God to give you the wisdom to deal with it. If there is someone within your family that knows how to vex you and you are ready to bring out your punching gloves; I would suggest for your sanity and peace, you should learn how to build your boundaries. It is important to have boundaries in our relationships because they keep us safe. Good boundaries will protect you more than those punching gloves.
In counseling and coaching, I love to share the story of Joseph especially when I am addressing the issue of hurt or pain that may come into our lives through family relationships or those close to us. I am guessing we all know his story (Gen. 37-50). Nobody can tell me that what Joseph went through with his family was easy, and secondly forgiving his siblings also came with a price; his great humility and obedience to God. I believe Joseph looked beyond his siblings and their heinous act towards him. He looked at the bloodline, his prophetic dreams, and the promises that God made with his ancestors. There is no one that has not hurt another person ‘s feelings in life, except babies, they have no concept of hurting someone. The hurt inflicted on us by others or by us on others could come in the form of our words, actions, or decisions, although the magnitude may be different from person to person. In some cases, these negative actions either through us or from others towards us, may not have been deliberate but that does not change the impact it had on the person that is on the receiving end. Sometimes, saying sorry does not fix everything, but as Christians, we have to learn how to heal daily from the offense in order to keep ourselves from the pollution of the deadly bitter root judgment or unforgiveness.
Look At The Big Picture; Your Spiritual Role
God does not make mistakes, He has a reason for placing us in our earthly families. If for whatever reason our heart grieves over the situation in our family relationships or situations, we should look at the bigger picture of why we were placed in our various families. The way to not get entangled in all the negatives is to ask God to show us our spiritual role within our immediate or extended families. There are times a family may need “a Joshua or a David” someone to stand in the gap, to clean up the generational bloodline and overcome the strongman standing against the family’s divine inheritance. This inheritance is divine, they are not a piece of heirloom or a house that grandpa and grandma Willowberry left for the family. I am talking about the first estate inheritance; a good example is the story of Jacob and Esau. What Esaw gave up was not a physical inheritance, it was a divine inheritance that God gave him when he was formed and created in his mother’s womb. Though, the prophecy revealed that he would do this (Gen.25:19-34), I believe Esau could have changed it when he understood the power and the importance of the divine inheritance and the first estate. With a saddened heart of regret, he referred to the importance of the divine inheritance in Gen. Chapter 27. The divine inheritance is also mentioned briefly in Psalm 16: 5-6, this divine inheritance is God’s blessings upon each person and the family that He created. God does not form or create something without a purpose, and He placed a package inside each generational family bloodline and each person. That divine Purpose is our destiny and that is why satan goes about like a roaring lion seeking how to take it from us. If the generations before us or our ancestors have sold or traded our divine inheritance to the kingdom of darkness for power, wealth and other selfish gains or comfort, then our journey in life may not be a smooth ride. Actually, it may be very rough in comparison to others. But we can overrule and retrieve back our divine destiny/purpose by applying and activating the victory of the cross and the name of Jesus.
God may have placed you in your earthly family as the Enosh of your family, whose birth brought in an explosion of revival, as seen in Gen. 4:26 “To Seth, also, a son was born, whom he named Enosh. At that same time men began to call on the name of the Lord in worship through prayer, praise, and thanksgiving.”
If we focus on what we see happening on the outside, we may miss the value of being part of a family. Having a family is God’s heart and to allow unpleasant experiences to dominate our views and thoughts, may deprive us of what God wants us to do as His representatives in our family and our bloodline. Most of the time it may involve prayer and standing in intercession as Abraham stood for Lot and his family. We may not see the full result of our prayers and intercession in our lifetime, but we are preparing the way and cleaning up the path for the generations to come and for our lineage. We are destroying the enemy’s stronghold that was built for many generations before we were born, we are breaking down demonic altars and declaring Jesus as Lord over our lives, lineage, and bloodline. What took us months to accomplish, may take the generations after us only one day to achieve; why? Because we had gone ahead of them to fight the battles on our knees in prayer; we cleared the pathways for the generations coming after us. David also fought the kingdom of darkness for his bloodline, for his son; Solomon, and he also cleared the pathway for our Lord Jesus Christ’s arrival.
How About Spiritual Warfare In Family Relationships
Spiritual Warfare in family relationships is a different ball game. If you have someone in your family that is tapping into dark powers to fight or manipulate you, you need to arise and stand on the authority of the word of God. Take the whole armor of God as your weapon of warfare(Ephesians 6:10-17), we cannot fight a spiritual battle with physical weapons, it will not work.
Although we should pray for their souls to be saved, at the same time we want to apply the promises of God, the power of the cross and the blood of Jesus for our protection against every arrow of the enemy. If possible, get others to pray along with you, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you as you take authority over the harassment. God’s promise to us will not be in vain; “Any alliance that forms against you will not be my doing; whoever tries to form such an alliance will fall because of you” Isa.54:15.
It is very important to know our legal right in God through the power of the cross of Jesus. The first thing about that is to know without a doubt that God is a loving Father, and He cares about us. Secondly, He does not run from battles, actually, He calls Himself “the Lord Of Heaven’s Armies” (Rev.4:8, Psa.46:7). You should go to our Heavenly Father on the sea of glass (Rev. 4), let Him know what is going on and ask for His help. We all know that nothing is hidden in His sight, and He is aware of what is going on in our lives, but He has also given us the freedom to make choices. We can choose to submit to His authority to fight our battles for us, or we can fight our battles in our own strength and power. We will never be forsaken if we always allow God’s will in our lives. Whatever we choose or decide will determine the turn of events in our lives!