Overcoming Crisis In Family Relationships
How to Handle Crisis in Family Relationships (Taken from the book – 21 Destiny Prayers)
In life, we cannot choose the family we come from; God decides where we are placed. There are some exceptions to this, such as fostering, adoption, or a child leaving the family to live with relatives or guardians. Some experiences in family relationships may be heartbreaking and chaotic, while for others, they may be peaceful and full of laughter. Overall, it is important to know that God controls the affairs of men. No matter what our family situations or circumstances are, let us take a step back to give thanks to God for where He has placed us. You may say, “Simi, you don’t understand, my family is… and they do…” and so on. I may not understand everything, but one thing I do understand is this; if we keep pondering on the negatives, we will miss why God planted us in our family bloodline. If you are upset about the situation in your immediate or extended earthly family, try to change your perspective. Don’t just look at your family set-up or the situation but look at the bloodline. This is a good practice because you will begin to see the circumstances from a higher level, and this may give you answers to your questions or give you some relief. Most of the time, the enemy wants us to look at the stormy situation with our natural eyes and point fingers. We should learn to remove the veil and ask the Holy Spirit to give us insight.
Sometimes the problem behind a dysfunctional family may not be from the present generation, but from generations before and in the bloodline. If your relationships within your family network are strained, ask God to give you the wisdom to deal with them. If there is someone within your family that knows how to anger you and you are ready to bring out your punching gloves, I would suggest for your own sanity and peace you put boundaries in place. It is important to have boundaries in our relationships because they keep us safe. Good boundaries will protect you more than those punching gloves.
When counseling and coaching, I love to share the story of Joseph (Genesis 37-50), especially when I am addressing the issue of hurt or pain that may come into our lives through family relationships or those close to us. Secondly, forgiving his siblings also came with a price; great humility and obedience to God. I believe Joseph looked beyond his siblings and their heinous acts towards him, and he looked at the bloodline, his prophetic dreams, and the promises that God made with his ancestors.
We all hurt each other’s feelings in life. The hurt inflicted on us by others or by us on others could come in the form of words, actions, or decisions, and even when not deliberate or with malicious intent, it does not always change the impact it has or had on the person on the receiving end. Sometimes, saying “sorry” does not fix everything, but as Christians, we must learn how to heal daily from the offense in order to keep ourselves from the pollution of the deadly and bitter root of judgement or unforgiveness.
Look at the Big Picture -Your Spiritual Role
God does not make mistakes. He has a reason for placing us in our earthly families. If for whatever reason, our heart grieves over our family circumstances and relationships, we should look at the bigger picture of why we have been placed in our family. The way to not get entangled in all the negatives is to ask God to show us our spiritual role within our immediate or extended families. There are times a family may need a “Joshua” or a “David,”; someone to stand in the gap, to clean up the generational bloodline, and to overcome the strongman standing against the family’s divine inheritance. This inheritance is divine, it is not a piece of heirloom or a house that Grandpa and Grandma left for the family.
I am talking about the first estate inheritance, and a good example is the story of Jacob and Esau. What Esau gave up was not a physical inheritance, it was a divine inheritance that God had given him when he was formed and created in his mother’s womb. Although the prophecy revealed that he would do this (Genesis 25:19-34), I believe Esau could have changed it when he understood the power and the importance of the divine inheritance and the first estate. With a saddened heart and full of regret, he referred to the importance of the divine inheritance in Genesis Chapter 27: 36.
The divine inheritance is also mentioned briefly in Psalm 16: 5-6. This inheritance is God’s blessing upon each person and the family that He created. God does not form or create something without a purpose, and He placed a package inside each generational family bloodline and each person. That divine purpose is our destiny, and that is why satan goes about like a roaring lion, seeking how to take it from us. If the generations before us or our ancestors have sold or traded our divine inheritance to the kingdom of darkness for power, wealth, and for other selfish gain or comfort, then our journey in life may not be a smooth ride. It may, in fact, be very rough in comparison to others, but we can overrule and retrieve our divine destiny or purpose by applying and activating the victory of the cross and the Name of Jesus.
God may have placed you in your earthly family as the Enosh of your family. The birth of Enosh brought in an explosion of revival, as described in Genesis 4:26, “Seth also had a son, and he named him Enosh. At that time, people began to call on the name of the LORD.” If we focus on what we see happening on the outside, we may miss the value of being part of a family. Having a family is from God’s heart, and to allow unpleasant experiences to dominate our views and thoughts may deprive us of what God wants us to do as his representatives in our family and our bloodline. Most of the time, it may involve prayer and standing in intercession as Abraham stood in for Lot and his family. We may not see the full result of our prayers and intercession in our lifetime, but we are preparing the way and cleaning up the path for the generations to come and for our lineage. We are destroying the enemy’s stronghold that was built for many generations before we were born. We are breaking down demonic altars and declaring Jesus as Lord over our lives, lineage, and bloodline. What took us months to accomplish, may take the generations after us only a day to achieve. Why? Because we are going ahead of them to fight the battles on our knees; we are demolishing all the strongholds and clearing the pathways for the generations coming after us. David also fought the kingdom of darkness for his bloodline, for his son Solomon, and he also cleared the pathway for our Lord Jesus Christ’s arrival.
How About Spiritual Warfare in Family Relationships?
Spiritual warfare in family relationships is a different ball game. If you have someone in your family that is tapping into dark powers to fight or manipulate you, you need to arise and stand on the authority of the Word of God. Take the whole armor of God as your weapon of warfare (Ephesians 6:10-17). We cannot fight a spiritual battle with physical weapons; it will not work.
Although we should pray for their souls to be saved, we also want to apply the promises of God, the power of the cross and the blood of Jesus for our protection against every arrow of the enemy. If possible, get others to pray along with you, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you as you take authority over the harassment. God’s promise to us will not be in vain; “Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.” (Isaiah 54:15).
It is important to know our legal rights in God through the power of the cross of Jesus. The first thing about that is to know without a doubt that God is a loving Father, and He cares about us. Secondly, He does not run away from battles. He actually calls Himself “The Lord of Host, the God of Jacob, who is our refuge” (Psalm 46:11). You should go to our Heavenly Father on the Sea of Glass (Revelation 4); let Him know what is going on and ask for His help. We all know that nothing is hidden from His sight, and He is aware of what is going on in our lives. He has also given us the freedom to make choices. We can choose to submit to His authority to fight our battles for us, or we can fight our battles in our own strength and power. We will never be forsaken if we always allow God’s will in our lives. Whatever we choose or decide will determine the turn of events in our lives!